Phone Sex
by spoony monster
Summary: Axel spoke first again. "What are you wearing?" "The exact same thing I was wearing when I was at your place an hour ago,"


The key clicked in the lock of Saïx's front door, and he kicked the door closed behind him as he crossed the kitchen to throw his groceries on the counter as his cell phone wailed in his pocket. The soup cans rolled and clanked together in the plastic bag, and the shrill ringtone echoed (it was Axel's ringtone; Saïx wasn't the most technologically adept person so Axel had set the ringtone, and Saïx wanted to kill him for choosing such an annoying one. And he still couldn't figure out how to change it back), and Saïx pulled his phone from his pocket and answered it to shut it up, holding it to his ear.

He didn't even have a chance to say anything before Axel's scratchy voice sounded through the earpiece. _"Hey baby. Miss me?"_

"Didn't I just see you like an hour ago?" Saïx sighed, holding the phone in place with his shoulder and digging around in the grocery bags to start putting his food where it belongs.

_"Forty-five minutes actually,"_ Axel answered.

"Uh huh," Saïx said, opening the cabinet to start putting the cans on the bottom shelf. "So what do you want?"

_"You,"_

"Seriously, Axel,"

_"I just miss you,"_

"I was _just there_,"

_"But we didn't do anything,"_

Saïx hunched over and sighed. "What exactly did you want to do?"

_"Anything that gets your mouth around my cock will do,"_

Saïx dropped the can of beans that was in his hand, and it echoed as it dropped from the counter and rolled across the floor. There was silence on the other line, but he could almost feel the grin on Axel's face. "I don't have time for this,"

_"I could be over there in five minutes,"_

"No,"

_"Why not?"_

"Because I handle you better in small doses,"

_"Ouch,"_

Saïx picked the now very dented can up off the floor and put it in the cabinet with the others. The cabinet closed with a small click. "I have to be at work at four in the morning. I don't have time for you,"

_"There's always time for me babe,"_

"Stop calling me that,"

_"Come on, Saïx. How long has it been since we had any time to really, you know…?"_

"Two days,"

_"Exactly! Two whole days, Saïx!"_

Saïx sighed again, tossing the empty grocery bags in the garbage and shrugging out of his jacket to hang it on the hook on the back of his front door.

"I am getting ready for bed now and I plan on being asleep within an hour," He said. "I do not have time for you tonight. Maybe tomorrow."

_"But I'm hard right now,"_ Axel whispered. There was a light moan that followed.

Saïx paused what he was doing and leaned back against the counter. "You are not touching yourself right now,"

_"Babe, I've been touching myself since I picked up the phone,"_

"Oh God,"'Saïx muttered. "Axel, this is indecent."

_"This is phone sex,"_

"I'm not doing this right now. I'm getting ready for bed,"

_"Come on babe. I can make you feel **so good**,"_

"Goodnight Axel,"

Saïx ended the call, slipping his phone back in his pants pocket, and headed toward the bathroom. He felt strangely shaky.

He'd just closed the bathroom door behind him when his cell phone wailed again; it looked like Axel wasn't going to give up on this endeavor. He answered the phone again, fumbling for a moment to find the speaker button and set the phone down on the bathroom counter.

Axel spoke first again. _"What are you wearing?"_

"The exact same thing I was wearing when I was at your place an hour ago,"

Axel purred into the phone. _"Let me know when you're naked,"_

Saïx was starting to get annoyed. "I'm not going to be naked as long as you're pestering me over the phone,"

_"I wanna touch you, Saïx,"_ Axel breathed into the phone. Saïx shivered. _"I wanna see that pretty face screaming my name as you come."_

"Axel…" Saïx warned. His knees felt shaky; he hated how weak he was to Axel's teasing.

_"My cock is throbbing. It wants inside you,"_

Saïx frowned, his face flushed at Axel's words and his body twitched, and his pants were a little too tight all of a sudden. Even in the privacy of his own bathroom, this lewd conversation seemed a little too public and he clicked his phone off of speaker and brought it back to his ear.

"Stop talking," he said, wincing at the break in his voice that he was sure Axel heard.

_"Are you touching yourself?"_

"No," _But I'm damn near close to it._ He thought to himself.

_"Do you wanna know all the dirty things I wanna do to you right now?"_ Axel purred.

"Not really," It was getting hot in his bathroom, he tried to convince himself that it was faulty air conditioning and not Axel's vulgar teasing. He pulled his shirt off to cool down.

_"I want to fuck you, Saïx,"_

A wave of heat rushed from Saïx's face, all the way down his spine and through his arms and legs. His feet went numb and his fingertips tingled. His own aching need was pulsing in his own pants. "Shit," he mumbled, once he realized he'd gone from zero to aroused in less than the time it would have taken him to brush his teeth.

_"Ah,"_ Axel sighed on the other line. _"It sounds like someone is losing their composure."_

"Shut up," Saïx palmed himself through his jeans, exhaling sharply when he got that little bit of feel-good friction over his erection. But it wasn't enough. It was embarrassing to think just how badly he wanted to tell Axel to just drop what he was doing and drive over and fuck him silly against his bathroom wall.

_"What are you doing right now? Tell me,"_

"Taking care of the problem you left me with," Saïx breathed out, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants so he could pull his flushed and throbbing erection from its uncomfortable spot right against his leg. He leaned with his bare lower back against the cold bathroom counter, and rubbed his thumb over the head of his penis.

_"Are you touching yourself now?"_

"Y-Yes," It was embarrassing to admit that out loud, even to Axel. The low chuckle on the other line didn't make it any better. The desire in Axel's voice made him that much harder. "Dammit Axel, I have to work in the morning."

There was shuffling on the other line, Saïx flushed when he realized that the sound was Axel stroking himself, hard from the sound of it. Saïx started running his hand over his cock, unable to handle the painful throbbing any longer.

_"Saïx…"_ Axel moaned, and Saïx felt his cock twitch. His skin was dry and he couldn't stroke his hand how he needed, so he turned around to face the medicine cabinet, opened the door, and grabbed a bottle of hand lotion. The lotion was cold and he gasped when his lotion-lubricated hand wrapped back around his erection. He pumped slowly, the scent of lavender overpowering his senses. Axel noticed Saïx's uneven breathing, and Saïx could almost feel the leer on his face when he spoke again. _"Tell me exactly what you are doing."_

"No,"

_"My imagination can—ahhh— only do so much. I need to know what you're doing,"_

Saïx wanted to laugh. He'd been dealing with Axel and his imagination for far too long now. He knew of the things his imagination could spit out. "I seriously doubt that,"

_"Work with me here babe. Tell me what you're doing,"_ Axel's voice went down a full octave. _"Are you stroking yourself?"_

Saïx's hips jerked forward and crashed painfully against the counter. "Shit!" He shouted. Axel mumbled some words of encouragement on the other line. Saïx stepped over to his left, leaning over the toilet with his left hand braced against the wall and his cell phone clutched between his ear and shoulder, where there was nothing in his way to bruise him as his hips thrashed about. His jeans slid down further over his hips and he stroked himself almost violently now in a desperate race to climax. "Axel!"

"_Yeah baby. Can you come for me? Come for me, Saïx,"_

"I can't believe I'm doing this... oh God..." His stomach muscles tensed; it was getting hard to breathe and he was dangerously close. Axel moaned in his ear, and he was suddenly aware of the total lack of the redhead in the room right now. His voice, distorted by their town's faulty cell phone towers, was not a reliable substitute to Axel's hands on his body, running through his hair, touching him and sending him over the edge.

His entire body contracted and let go all at once, and he let loose with an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek of Axel's name. He was vaguely aware of the mess his fluids made on the back of the toilet before the room started spinning and his body started tingling, and he was able to suck in a breath that he hadn't been aware he'd been struggling with. He felt like he'd just run the entire way from the grocery store; his legs were shaking and he felt sleep trying to take him where he stood. Axel's lack of sarcastic reaction to his orgasm voice pulled him out of his reverie.

"Axel...?" He croaked, trying to slide his phone closer to his ear, using his shoulder.

But the phone wasn't there.

Saïx looked downward and wanted to panic when he saw his brand new phone, sitting at the bottom of his toilet.

- - x - -

It took Saïx almost two minutes just to talk himself into reaching his hand into the toilet to retrieve his phone, followed by a quick google of "what do I do if I drop my phone in the toilet?" and now he was standing in his kitchen with his arms crossed, staring at a bowl of instant rice that contained his toilet-drenched phone, and he silently prayed to any God that would listen that his phone would still work after it was dry, and that if it didn't, that accidental dunks in toilets were covered by his insurance plan. The night was getting late, and he's given up on any chance of having a semi-decent night's sleep before work the next morning.

He blamed everything on Axel and his insatiable libido.

Speak of the devil... there were three loud knocks on his front door, followed by a rather loud "Saïx? Are you okay?" and Saïx vaguely wondered if he should also add Axel to the list of reasons why his neighbors hated him.

"Come in," Saïx answered, not taking his eyes off the bowl of rice.

His door opened and Axel breathed in relief when he saw Saïx standing in the kitchen, shirtless and staring at a bowl on the kitchen counter.

"What happened?" He asked, walking up behind Saïx to wrap his arms around his waist. "I've been trying to call you for the last hour."

Saïx gestured to the bowl on the counter.

"You've been ignoring me for a bowl of rice?"

Saïx dipped his hand in the bowl and removed his cell phone, now very much dry.

"Uh... you're cooking your phone?"

Saïx slapped his hand to his face and sighed. "I dropped it in the toilet,"

"Ah," Axel said. "That explains a lot."

"If it doesn't work, you're buying me a new one,"

"Ahh," Axel exclaimed, his tone a bit more devious. "So phone sex happened in the bathroom then."

Saïx turned his head and glared at the redhead over his shoulder.

Axel released his hold on Saïx's waist, standing aside as he brushed off stray rice grains and leftover starch. He turned on the power button, relieved as it turned on. "Oh thank God,"

"You did remember to wash the toilet water off before you put it in the rice didn't you?" Axel asked, as Saïx pushed the call button and held it up to his ear to listen for a dial tone.

Axel got his answer, and the last laugh, as Saïx's eyes opened wide, and he dropped the phone right there, and it landed on the floor with a loud clatter.


End file.
